John is planning to get married
this year. Unfortunately,
there was no mutual agreement between him and his parents on his choice of
partner, Jane. This is so as John’s parents find Jane’s characteristics to be
incompatible and that John is not yet ready to be married. Due to
this disagreement, interpersonal conflict happened between him and his parents.
While John attempted to talk things through with his parents, they did not consider
his explanation and remained strict with their decision. Since John had no better
options to solve the problem, he ran away from home the next morning with his
belongings to live elsewhere to calm himself down from the pressure at home.
The main problem
here is the parent’s disagreement to John’s decision to get married. John’s
parents find Jane incompatible due to the differences in their upbringing. The
possible cause might be attributed to Jane’s father who is a drug addict and is
currently in jail for a long time. Without the presence of a fatherly figure in
her life, John’s parents felt that it has had an adverse impact on her and find
her way of social interaction rather unpleasant as she can sometimes be rude.
This made them jump to a conclusion that Jane is not suitable to be John’s
partner.
John on the other
hand believes that Jane can be a good partner. This motivated his decision to
marry her and thus he is frustrated that he could not solicit agreement from
his parents. He sees it as unfair to base their decision as such and that to
judge Jane based on her father. While John’s parents worry that Jane may have a
negative influence on him, John has a different view. Although there are
downsides to Jane’s behaviour, he feels that it is unfair to blame her for it
and that she can be a better person. On the contrary, knowing that Jane comes
from a troubled family background, it motivated his parent’s current decision
as they merely want John to have a good married life.
I believe that
Jane can change for the better, provided John’s parents are open and supportive
as well as are willing to guide them. If you are in John’s shoe, what would you
do?
If I am in John's shoes, I would have made more effort to find time to sit down together with Jane and my parents to talk about the disagreement instead of running away from home due to the pressure within the house. I felt that by doing this, each party is able to speak up what they individually thought of and how they felt so as to get a common understanding/agreement for this marriage. Although this might be challenging achieving the goal, I still think that it is worth a try to resolve any misunderstanding that we may have within us.
ReplyDeleteIf I were in John's shoes, I would have to be patient with my parents. I understand that they want the best for me, but I know that this decision to marry Jane will make me happy. My happiness is important too. What I would do is to let my parents meet Jane and let them see for themselves the side of Jane that I love. Hopefully they would listen to me once more so that I can explain to them. As for Jane, I would not want to force her to change for the sake of my parents because that wouldn't be the Jane that I fell in love with.
ReplyDeleteHi Wazir,
ReplyDeleteIf I were to be in John's shoes, I would talk it out with my parents and let them interact with Jane first so that they can see Jane's true character and see her the way that I do. Hopefully, they can understand that being with Jane will bring me happiness. As for Jane, she just needs to be herself when interacting with my parents so that my parents can understand why I chose to marry her.
Hi Wazirullah,
ReplyDeleteIf I were to be in John's shoes, I would try to talk to my parents and let them meet with Jane to see her personally. I believe that through face to face interaction, my parents would change their mindset and embrace Jane with open arms. I would also try to make my parents to support and guide Jane as much as possible in her life. This is because of the fact that conflicts can cause unhappiness in the long run so it is better to reduce it slowly over time.