John is planning to get married
this year. Unfortunately,
there was no mutual agreement between him and his parents on his choice of
partner, Jane. This is so as John’s parents find Jane’s characteristics to be
incompatible and that John is not yet ready to be married. Due to
this disagreement, interpersonal conflict happened between him and his parents.
While John attempted to talk things through with his parents, they did not consider
his explanation and remained strict with their decision. Since John had no better
options to solve the problem, he ran away from home the next morning with his
belongings to live elsewhere to calm himself down from the pressure at home.
The main problem
here is the parent’s disagreement to John’s decision to get married. John’s
parents find Jane incompatible due to the differences in their upbringing. The
possible cause might be attributed to Jane’s father who is a drug addict and is
currently in jail for a long time. Without the presence of a fatherly figure in
her life, John’s parents felt that it has had an adverse impact on her and find
her way of social interaction rather unpleasant as she can sometimes be rude.
This made them jump to a conclusion that Jane is not suitable to be John’s
partner.
John on the other
hand believes that Jane can be a good partner. This motivated his decision to
marry her and thus he is frustrated that he could not solicit agreement from
his parents. He sees it as unfair to base their decision as such and that to
judge Jane based on her father. While John’s parents worry that Jane may have a
negative influence on him, John has a different view. Although there are
downsides to Jane’s behaviour, he feels that it is unfair to blame her for it
and that she can be a better person. On the contrary, knowing that Jane comes
from a troubled family background, it motivated his parent’s current decision
as they merely want John to have a good married life.
I believe that
Jane can change for the better, provided John’s parents are open and supportive
as well as are willing to guide them. If you are in John’s shoe, what would you
do?
